Tired

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12

I wish I could say that this verse reflected my heart. I want to be like the apostle Paul and learn how to "Rejoice in the Lord always". I tend to be quite the opposite - the glass is half empty type of person. My life looks more like Eeyore than Pollyanna. In fact some days I would like to see Godzilla meets Pollyanna. I am tired. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of having nothing left to give at the end of the day, which never really ends because I don't ever really get to sleep, just nap for a few hours during that thing some people call night. I'm tired of 3 times a day trying to get my underweight baby to eat without creating a power struggle that could last a lifetime. I could keep going but that would defeat the purpose of what I am trying to do here.

So, I read this verse in Philippians knowing there are so many people in much worse situations than me, people like Darian's mom, people who continually praise God no matter what they are going through. I wish I could figure out how to do that. Then I read the next verse "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Ouch - a little conviction! Jesus has given me the strength I need "to be content whatever the circumstances". I don't have to rely on my own strength, just claim the grace He has already given me. If I am grumpy it is my own fault! I can choose to be Oscar the Grouch or I can choose to be someone like Pollyanna (but not her because she really is annoying.) Maybe GusGus from Cinderella.So, this blog tonight is an exercise for myself to change my attitude. Here are some of the many blessings I have to be thankful for:

* I have a wonderful husband who loves me, takes good care of me, has done most of the housework lately, and bought me hagen dazs tonight! (the way to my heart is with ice cream)
* Abby - my little bundle of joy.
* Health - I and my family are all healthy
* Eugene and I both have good jobs that we enjoy and that are not threatened by the economy
* We have a home.
* Our families - they are wonderful, they love us, we love them, are you feeling all warm and fuzzy?
* We have been blessed with many great friends.
* A cafeteria that cooks and washes dishes for us!
* My Christian heritage - being taught that God loves me and that Jesus died for me is the best gift my parents ever gave me.
* We have enjoyed a lot of great comraderie with our fellow RD's this year
* Our church - I am always so encouraged on Sundays both from the fellowship and from the teaching.
* peanut butter
* It was sunny today and I went on a walk with Abby
* I live in Oregon and it is beautiful here!
* running water - I love my hot morning showers!